You know I manage to ruin everything I touch or vice versa. Its obvious that I was never meant to have any type of romantic relationship in my life. Knowledge that my longest relationship has been 4 months should just bloody prove that. I had a good thing going with this guy even though things weren't always wonderful but I ruined that by thinking I needed to have space and see what I wanted in life. Now he won't forgive me even though I told him I love him and want to turn back time to have him back. I am just a friend in his eyes now. That's all I ever am to guys unless they using me. Maybe I should just admit that no one wants me forever. It was dumb of me to think I ever could. My heart hurts so much I can't even breathe anymore and I can't stop crying. No one can help me feel better either 'cause I feel like utter crap deep in my soul. :(
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